Hi guys,
This “Pressword” thing you set up for me to blog my tech tips with is awesome. I know the internet can send email, so I’ve sent you a few through “Pressword” but haven’t received a reply. I’ve been publishing them as you taught me. Is there some trick you need to do to make sure the internet takes the email to you?
let me know when you get this, thanks
Drew
Ps how do i check new mails on this thing too, in the same area??
We’ve just received a notice from a user looking for help.
Subject: Help!
Message Body:
I’m not sure how to turn my computer on?I’m not sure how it was on in the first place, but I need to know before it gets tired again and falls asleep!
Please help me unicorn tips!
Don’t worry, the experts are here. First you need to determine if you have are using a PC, Mac, or Lenox. Macs do not turn off so you are not using a mac. If you are using Lenox then you’ll need to do lots of shit first.
Let’s hope you are using a PC. I’m running windows 98 (believe it or not some fools still use Windows 7! 91 versions behind the latest release, what are they thinking?!), so this is what I do to turn it on:
If your computer turns on, you are done. If not, you’re fucked, buy a new one. Thanks for writing in!
First things first, I want to explain to all of you why this tutorial will change your life. There are many types of people in this world, I’m going to focus on two groups, stupid idiots, and AWESOME people. AWESOME people tend to be more fun to hang out with. And everyone pays more attention to AWESOME people than your average stupid idiot. You stupid idiots out there may not realize, but this is due to the fact that AWESOME people talk with all capital letters.
Now I’m not saying this tutorial is going to make you AWESOME in real life, that’s close to impossible. But at the very least, you’ll appear like an AWESOME person when typing on the internet! I hope you stupid idiots aren’t wearing socks, because I’m about to blow them off your damn feet!
Okay now that you have the On-Screen Keyboard active, your screen should show the same thing as the image below.
This is the on screen keyboard, consider it a portal that you can jump through (not literally you idiot) and immediately become much more awesome than your current pathetic state.
This is the on screen keyboard, zooming in a bit, we’re going to be focusing in on the left side of the tool. As you can see in Example 72.4A, I’ve highlighted the button that you need to click with your mouse to enable the all uppercase mode. Go ahead…click it.
Example 72.4A
ONCE CLICKED, ALL OF YOUR TYPING WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE IN UPPERCASE LETTERING. HITTING THAT BUTTON TELLS THE COMPUTER IT NEEDS TO TRANSLATE YOUR STUPID WORDS INTO AWESOME WORDS AND IT DOES IT ON THE FLY!
A FEW THINGS I NEED TO WARN YOU ABOUT..
THIS IS A WINDOWS ONLY TIP AT THE MOMENT, I’LL WORK ON A MAC VERSION SOON, SO YOU HIPSTER IDIOTS CAN FEEL AWESOME AS WELL!
Every Friday, except for those Fridays when we’re particularly busy or can’t be bothered, we’re going to be giving away something useful and/or interesting and/or something we just found lying around the house. This week, we’re going to be wetting the pants of all our loyal Web designers by giving away your very own Pixel Ruler! Here’s what it looks like:
And this is how you use it:
TIP: Not sure what the difference is between pixels and megapixels? Megapixels, as the name suggest are just better. They are bigger and better and they are PACKED with omega fatty acids which are really good for fat Web designers.
Enjoy!
I’m sure as an enthusiastic “world wide web and internets” enthusiast you’ve often wondered “how can get a world wide web site of my own”?
All world wide web sites are created using another world wide web site called GeoCities at the world wide web address of http://geocities.com – In fact the entire internet is actually GeoCities.
Unfortunately GeoCities is closed, and there will be no new world wide websites made ever. again. The internet is over.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want anyone to know that I listen to ABBA, let alone inform the world that they are my favorite band of all time. So when I rate my ABBA music in iTunes, I don’t use the usual 5-star rating system.
Instead, this is what I do and I hope you find this useful:
Stumbleupon is a Web site which has a really complicated diagram on the home page. I have no fucking idea what it means but it reminds me of a shitty PowerPoint presentation:
Save yourself some time and follow the steps below to avoid having to register with yet another site. It’s getting ridiculous how many usernames and passwords I have to remember. I must be a member of at least 5 sites now, I cannot keep up.
WARNING: ADVANCED TUTORIAL
Lots of people ask me, “How do I search for a picture on the internet?” and I tell them, “it’s very easy”, but some do not believe me. So for the very first time, I would like to share with you my secret of how to search for the best pictures on the Internet.
Let’s choose a picture we want to search for. I’m going to go with the first thing that comes into my head, something simple: I want to see a picture of a dwarf in red boots.
ENTER = RETURN
If you have trouble remembering what “FIND” will do, think of being on an island and you want to find some treasure. What would you do? That’s right, you would point at your dog and say, “FIND”. Think of the picture you are trying to find as treasure and you will never forget this tip.
SEARCH for dog = SEARCH for pictures on Internet = CLICK SEARCH
So, you live with your girlfriend and her mum owns a Kombi, it’s parked outside of yo crib, and you gotta start that g-unit before it don’t bust caps on command. Here’s the guide.
Most people know that engines need to be run every now and again, it also helps keep the battery charged. To do this, you need access to the inside of the car or other automobile. To do this, you need keys. Keys can usually be found on the owner, if not, gain their trust then ask for the location.
Once you have the keys you need to get inside the car. Put the key in the keyhole and turn, this should unlock the door. To do it in style, or if the lock on the drivers side door just happens to be completely and utterly fucked, you can enter from the passenger side. Remember that this be Australia, and we drive on the other side
Success. You up in that bitch!
Next, find the ignition, put the keys in it and TURN BABY TUURRNNN
Turn in the same direction that a clock ticks for maximum success. If yo ride be from the 70s you can easily use a slotted screwdriver as a substitute for keys.
When turning be sure do have your foot on the accelerator, some people call it a gas pedal as it controls the flow of petroleum, nicknamed gas regionally, this will help the engine start.
In this photo you can see it doing the revolutions but not doing any kilometres per hour or other interval.
A lot of people have asked us how to join in on the YouTube and play videos. We have made a video for you to show you how to play videos.
And that’s how the pros do it.
